2020 Takeaways — The Magic Happens When you Let Go

One of my biggest takeaways this year has been to Let. Go.

Of negativity, things that don’t serve me, but most importantly, of control, judgement, and attachment.

The goal isn’t to live indifferent or directionless, but to stop attatching to desires, outcomes, or my ideas of how things should be.  To stop judging things as bad because they’re different than what I wanted or uncomfortable, espiecally when I can’t even seen the big picture and how they fit into it.  To stop trying to control things that I have little to no control over.

And instead to stay open.  To God’s guiding me, trusting He knows what he’s doing and that everything is happening for me & for a reason.

And I get it, believe me.  It can be hard to swallow, that everything is happening for you.  Abuse? Sickness? Job Loss? Ended Relationships?  While I don’t believe God’s perfect plan is for these difficult and painful things to happen, we live in an imperfect world where we all have free will (for better or worse,) nor do I believe we need to celebrate all of them, I do believe He always uses the hard and the bad for our good as much as possible, and He always provides what we need, whether people, resources, or tools, to use what’s happening to keep moving forward into our best selves and our purpose.

Looking back on my life, I can see how so many of the things I thought of as ‘bad’ at the time, were actally blessings in disguise.  Ended relationships, trouble at work, difficult lonely seasons, they were all so important in my growth and path.   I’m actually glad they happened now, for the most part. Obviously not particularly for the pain, but for where they led me.  Had I accepted them sooner, trusting they were happening for me, I would have saved SO much time and emotion...

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”

This quote puts it so well… I’ve clung to relationships I wanted to be or stay in, places I’ve wanted to move to or stay in, things I wanted to do or not do, and it’s finally been sinking in over the last few years how I hold myself (and God) back by doing that.  Yes life is a journey of learning and growing, but sometimes we take the scenic route or the route with quicksand because we’re so attached to things not meant for us and to be honest?  We cause unnecessary problems and pain God didn't even intend for us to go through.

My relationship with Geoff is a great example of this.  I was attached to a person who wasn't good to or for me, then to the idea of being single for a while, then to silly ideas of things like 'I want a guy who's tall' (there's a backstory to this, but it's important to have chemistry and compatibility with your partner!  aligning on values matters more!)... I caused myself so much unnecessary pain, anxiety, and confusion while also delaying us starting to date by 3 months!  Obviously God worked it all out for good, but I still to this day think, what if I hadn't finally released my attachment to what I thought I wanted and started living open to how God was guiding me?  I could have missed out on someone who has been probably the best friend, support, and partner I've ever had (and honestly even better than I thought was possible!)

When we release our attachment, judgement, and need for control, we can take a situation we normally would have judged as ‘bad’ and focus what it actually is and the opportunity it brings.  We can take the energy we would have ended up using negatively and use it positively.  We can and do create room for the new and the best.  We can start looking for and seeing more of how things are happening for us, which helps us believe it that much more, which is self-perpetuating because you attract what you believe.  And we can live with so much more freedom and happiness.  Freedom and happiness that fuels us to continue walking in love and our purpose no matter our circumstances.

It's a daily practice, which is why I got a comma tattooed on my finger as a reminder.  When you’re in the thick of things, it can be hard to stay rooted in faith, to see the reason behind the hard, to stay open to what's being brought in or taken our of your life and where you're being guided.  Breathe deep, step back and try to see the bigger picture, release the need to know, judge, attach & control, and remember, it's going to be ok.  Everything is happening for you and for a reason.